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Paper Giants

by Lewis Findlay

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1.
Carry On 03:14
I tried so hard to demonstrate how hard it is to run with lead weights tied around your neck and round your legs and when you finally realised what i was trying to vocalise you said whatever speed I made you'd best so that's when the plan was hatched that you'd strap on lead weights to match and how they slowed you down its funny how when face to face,neither of us can take the pace racing on common ground And I say all things come in time but you need reasons to define why you feel untrue and I dont think we're made of glass but if we are it's those who've cracked that the light shines through and you and I will carry on you and I will carry on and on to something new and if it means that much to you we can take the path of least resistance cos by now even you must think it's better when we run in synch so that both of us can take the distance and now,though you have run and for so long somehow we made it this far to carry on And I say all things come in time but you need reasons to define why you feel untrue and I dont think we're made of glass but if we are it's those who've cracked that the light shines through and you and I will carry on and you know I tried and for so long through it all we will pass them by to carry on.
2.
Chemicals 04:03
If its down to which of us is most wrong I don't know where to begin but if it's a self-pitying contest,we both know I will win - hands down - and that's appropriate as it seems that's always how you find me I'm well aware of my fair share of blame you don't always have to remind me of these lines that I can't cross, I've drawn to keep myself in these chemicals are wearing off,and all the lies are wearing thin so keep your hands down Love,we don't need to cause a scene and calm yourself,there's no offence here at least none that I mean you said that you cant take me anywhere unless its at your loss i know what you mean,this can't go on,I have to be the one to draw these lines that I can't cross, I've drawn to keep myself in these chemicals are wearing off,and all the lies are wearing thin you said you cant take it any more so I wont push the point and you can have the reasonable doubt (the chemicals are wearing off) these lines that I can't cross, I've drawn to keep myself in these chemicals are wearing off,and all the lies are wearing thin as words unspoken come undone,these are the lines that i cant cross or I am left here on my own,these chemicals are wearing off
3.
You can read the dictionary from cover to cover and for all the time you spend still you will be none the wiser you,you use thoughts but dont employ facts because they're not what you're trying to prove a novel idea to take a page from your book to show you exactly what it is you do you get yourself in the way it so obscene someone as eloquent as you should always mean what you say and say what you mean and say more but talk a little less frequent so let's agree to a silence and not converse unless we must because all your frames of reference lie neglected and gathering dust and you can read the dictionary from cover to cover but your simple mind and unsubtle tongue always make jokes of one another and they get in the way,its so obscene because they're not what you're trying to prove a novel idea to take a page from your book to show you exactly what it is you do you can know every word to every poem ever written but appreciate that when it comes to speaking your own mind you are so illiterate you talk too much and dont say enough no you're not happy,i know you're not happy now you keep your eye on yourself,no love for anyone else you are the dictionary definition
4.
Am I reminiscing over something that hasn't happened yet? Or is this a memory that just gets in the way? because I feel it there buried in the increments of all the conversations and words that we don't say it comes on with no warning times when I cant sleep at night and days when I feel most alive and run through the neighbourhoods shouting out your name but no reply came calling back and no you never came you need to know that years from now,if all of this has changed then I will not I'll still be here,as the memory remains I saw our face at the window you used to let me in and my reflection like I'm still standing there now I've been replaced by dream catchers and medicine and you've been replaced by silence an quiet care And it lingers with no reason times where I cant sleep at night and days when I feel most alive and run through the neighbourhoods calling out your name but no reply came calling back and no you never came,you need to know that years from now if all of this has changed then I will not,I'll still be here as the memory remains Still there is no reason times where I feel most alive Remember when I stil felt alive and ran through the neigbourhoods screaming out your name but no reply came calling back and no you never came,you need to know that years from now if all of this has changed then I will not,I'll still be here as the memory remains
5.
Slow and broken - two words I use the most to describe these useless tokens I thought that I'd left out and though I'm worn Im open to the explanation of how you're so much more than coping with all the things I cant you need to hear with your eyes what your ears cant see savour the best 'till last I reacted so badly for so long i was just too distracted by all that I was not and I kept myself captive but now this energy that i have found relaxes and,incase you forget,remember hear with your eyes what your ears cant see savour the best 'till last and even with my lack of understanding,I can see you now and if you ever forget hear with your eyes what your ears cant see savour the best 'till last and thats what this is to me.
6.
Slugworth 03:53
I have a limited option of words that I can use to let you know because I've been through a wealth of repeating myself and I still have a distance to go see,my problem is I want to know everything and at the same time know nothing at all I'd cause my own demise at the price of the prize and no surprise every time I fall are you happy right now where you lay? and is this the numbness you need? I don't mean to be terse but when roles are reversed you'll find it's you that cant forget me you said one time makes me look a liar and that two times makes me look a fool tell me what else is it you require and what further evidence proves that it's all that's been done to you has now become the thing clung at the back of your brain why must you pour your contempt over every attempt I make to make you content again? are you happy right now where you lay? to companion your sweetest regret? because you can shout me out but in time you'll find out it's the one thing that you cant forget and see I have a limited option of words that I can use to let you know why must you pour your contempt over every attempt I make to help you to let it go? are you happy right now where you lay? and is this the numbness you need I don't want to make things worse but when roles are reversed you'll find you can't forget me.
7.
You look back and kick snow over all the tracks that you have laid how can I follow in your footsteps when I cant see the path you've made and how can I look up to anyone who was never even there? because you're too distant to be relevant and too cold for us to care and I look back over the times I blindly followed in your way and all you do just serves to remind me that theres nothing left to say because if you live by your own terms you're going to end up so lonely that's why I've taken the time to clear my mind of everything that you told me and I look back over the times I blindly followed in your way you know I never make eye contact and my breathing betrays me still and if our words are really weapons then we both just fire at will destroying everything and nothing untill only smoke surrounds and we're left buried in dead silence with no mans land for common ground and we look back over times we blindly followed in your way and all the words we left unspoken fall to ruin and decay because if you live by your own terms you're going to end up so lonely that's why I've taken the time to clear my mind of everything that you told me and as your head falls back into bloodshot skies your eyes meet mines but don't recognize my face stood out in a crowd because you don't even know me as I look back on the times we blindly followed our own ways and all the time and precious breath used up on all the words we waste because if you live by your own terms you're going to end up so lonely that's why I've taken the time to clear my mind of everything that you told me and as your head falls back into bloodshot skies your eyes meet mines but don't recognize my face stood out in a crowd because you don't even know me
8.
Monsters 03:42
Years ago I created a monster that I thought I could always outrun but in time you begine to blur thelines what is here that is still mines and what have I become? and I know your patience is wearing thin but it seems my excuses are the thinnest of all I didn't even get to taste the pride before the fall and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak and I stumble over words that I can't say and I've grown so tired of running knees grow weak but it's far,its far too late for that You and I we're not so different infact,we are far too much alike we both tried,we both imbibed 'till it was deep inside and it pushed out everything in its sight look me in the eye, you made a vow,you said you swore that you'd love it to death and would never give it up look how far all our commitments got us now and all the things that we became it seems we've only got ourselves to blame because all the things that we've become are direct results of all the things we've done all these warnings we had they felt just like monsters under your bed tell me how do you fell,all these years on,they sleep beside you instead and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak and I stumble over words that I can't say and I've grown so tired of running knees grow weak but it's far,it's far too late for that
9.
I am a hoarder, I collect the useless phrases you throw away and I redress them just to use them to describe my own life they say the healthiest pursuit's to move and change how can I change my point of view when I cant move all of these things still in my sight that give me no reason to shine,no reason to try no reason at all what to try,what if these fears come racing in? what if the words don't mean a thing? what am I,what if these fears cave me in and I'm left with no words let's take some time to separate the you from me,the me from you 'till I am gone you can decide which one of your faces you want to use something I thought you'd appreciate, the way The Automatic keeps driving me on to the point either way I'm going to loose and have no no reason to shine,no reason to try no reason at all what to try,what if these fears come rushing in? what if the words don't mean a thing? what am I,what if these fears cave me in and The Automatic wins? no reason to shine,no reason to try no reason at all
10.
Eulogy 04:03
I've been waiting patiently on someone elses input on what I should say its true my mannequin-featured friend I know you didn't see it ending up this way not you and I'm not quite sure of the relevance but I'm sure it's on my side and time won't ever fail to prove me right back at the start when you tore everything apart,proceeded to advance and go headlong into deep water when you really should have known there is no second chance and I'm not quite sure of the evidence but at least it lets me know that it was not kept in check,your decadence has swallowed whole all of your hopes all of your dreams all of the spaces that lie in between you know that just to say you've lived through a struggle really isn't enough, and all that you've known and all that you've built as everything comes apart at the seams you know that just to say I think that I love you really isn't enough leave me hanging by a thread,I'll be singing you out,I'll be singing you out you said you'd see me at the end,I'll be singing you out,I'll be singing you out again just like you said you'd do for me and I'm not quite sure of the relevance and I think the point gets lost and you're left with the ashes and remnant ,was it worth it now it's cost you all of your hopes all of your dreams all of the spaces that lie in between you know that just to say you've been through a struggle really isn't enough and all that you've known and all that you've built as everything comes apart at the seams you know that just to say I think that I love you really isn't enough I'll be singing you out.

about

All lyrics and music by Lewis Findlay, additional instrumentation, recording and production by Zambian Astronaught. Recorded, mixed and mastered at ZAHQ.

credits

released June 25, 2014

Many,many thanks to Stuart Jackson (@Zambianastro) for his continued work (and patience...) with me,making this album what it is. Much love to Team Amazing,thanks to Adam Holmes for his input,Robert Currie (robcurrie.net) for his contribution and everyone who has helped along the way. Carry on.

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Lewis Findlay Edinburgh, UK

Edinburgh based singer/songwriter/Lion King enthusiast.

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