Locust Years

by Lewis Findlay

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1.
03:26
2.
3.
04:33
4.
03:19
5.
6.
04:38
7.
04:08
8.
03:50
9.
03:36
10.
04:51

credits

released March 23, 2016

Massive thanks to Martin "Oz" Oswald ( Oz Audio - @ozsoundengineer ) for his patient work on this album helping to make it what it is,Everyone that bought the last album,promo'd and turned up to shows last year making this one possible. Thanks to Heeds and P.Bear for everything, Team Amazing every time,you guys have been more important this year than ever even when I dont see you for long periods. D'mooooonique x,Dallas Arts on the graphics,Shouts to my fellow Peter Pan Cbas (Major Glazer),Mog (Simmons is Old),Werd,ODDacity,Sinna,The Sick JanesThis Wooden Idea,My boys in Magenta and their fans,my DPR brothazzz,ZA,Adam Holmes,Jinx,One Oz everyone who has put me on tracks or stage with them,buys tickets an let me crash on their couch.X

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about

Lewis Findlay Edinburgh, UK

Edinburgh based singer/songwriter/Lion King enthusiast.

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Track Name: Sublime
I cannot do this anymore
Glutton for punishment, it seems like this is fast becoming
Everything that I abhor
Maybe I'm just not feeling this anymore

This is not the comfort I adore
These days its just my nervousness that seems to make my eyes wide
When you see lying on the floor,You should know by now that its not right
Would you see me,would you walk on by?
Would you believe me when I tell you to take me as i am?

Took this and I made it everything I never wanted it to be
Making the same mistakes desperately trying to make you see
That nothing scares like it used to and Im trying to make you feel
To feel like you can be alone
Sublime

So please do not do this I implore
Cant bare to see you drift away upon some distant skyline
How can you say that I ignore this
When its the only thing that fills my eye-line?
Would you see me,would you walk on by?
Would you believe me when I tell you too?
- Take me as I am.

Took you and I made you everything I never wanted you to be
Making the same mistakes desperately trying to make you see
That nothing scares like it used to and im trying to get to feel
To feel more like myself
Sublime
Track Name: Parma Violets
I went to make the first incision
But my hands couldnt keep tight enough grip
They relaxed off
And Tried to remain unswayed making decisions,
Even though I had already let it slip,
cant lose sight of the fact that

The lines of your neck simultaniously bless but they also curse
At least youve got youre monies worth.

I had quashed all my own advances
through my own constant arrogant displays
But through knowing you
Ive learned to place little place in these second chances
cos in th end I just throw it all away
When i look at myself -this look just doesnt match my vision
This is not the way I pictured me
Like the time I went to make that first incision
But still it haunts my memory

The lines of your neck simultaniously bless but they also curse
At least youve got youre monies worth.

So this is how it is for us,I find it so alarming,Love,but take your pick
Its hard to take that a smile so disarming could still make me sick

Show me your hands
Show me your heart and what it meant to me
Its bleeding
If one thing is for sure to destroy the soul its the memory
Track Name: Lemon Juice
I feel the lightness of relief as I stand all alone
Where the airs so cold that I can see my breath
And I think about the things we say,how we dont say what we want to say and why we cant just say what it is we mean
And when are they going to stop calling it 'pillow-talk',90% of the time you will find yourself sitting upright
We're too busy wrapped up in the words

But theres still so many lies that i still have to unmake
And I wonder if I'll have the time

When all i seek is hiding under covers
And when we talk it just reminds
And when we speak,our words wrap round each other
They lie upon our skin as invisible signs
And I find it incredible,it is immeasurable,the words we inscribe on each other are indellable
Wounds can heal but words cant be unheard in time
We're too busy wrapped up in the words

But theres still so many lies that i still have to unmake
And theres so many promises that I still have to unbreak
I feel conviction through benediction

Hard times made me honest,its not the way I wanted
With so much to say,not enough to sing
Hard times made me honest its different but I promise it means everything

So in my moments of clarity,I'll write down every word that comes to me to form a web,a net spoken by you
Because as I've already mentioned,despite my best intentions the weight of my transgressions will catch me up in the end i know
And I'll need something to fall into

But theres still so many lies that i still have to unmake
And theres so many promises that I still have to unbreak
Cos I've seen this all before and you know that theres only so much I can take
I feel conviction through benediction
Track Name: Rubatosis
We said "I'll walk a mile in your shoes,you walk a mile in mine"
It wont work either way
Im too lazy these days to walk a mile and you couldnt never make the distance weighed down by my feet of clay
From now on I'll dress in black to make sure that your bruises match and we can write it off as a success
My motto has alway been have no regrets by ensuring youve no memory left

Only the fear thats enough to almost keep me.from breathing
And the fear is that this wont ever stop

I always say if I could find the time to rest my mind Id be much less inclined to destroy everything first
I think youll find if I could find a way to rewind time id find a way to do tings ten times worse
I always do
See what I day and what I mean are two completely different things,I know youre not a believer and I dont blame you
I push things away and keep them at bay 'till I end up with neither

Only the fear thats enough to almost keep me from breathing
And the fear is that I wont ever stop this again
And if you see it wouldnt that change the way that you feel it?
But I will kiss away the blood and pretend its over now

This transition goes - hand in hand to hand on my heart
To hands around my neck and so it goes
A life in my hands gets out of hand you already know
So I built up these walls to try and make the fortress strong
But I imprisoned myself instead
I pulled a Sampson and brought this entire edifice down on my own head

Now theres only fear thats enough to almost stop me from breathing
And the fear is that I wont ever stop this again
And if you see it wouldnt that change the way that you feel it?
But you cant kiss away the blood and pretend its over now.
Track Name: Vanishing Point
Always chasing something - the grass is always greener on the otherside
Something lead to nothing just bitter pills washed down with chasers of my pride

So maybe I dont have an answer for you now
Maybe that isnt what you need at all

I caved into something that promised all of these better things
That something left me nothing except the weight of all the baggage that it brings

So maybe I dont have an answer for you now
Maybe that isnt what you need at all
Like the most unkind leading the deaf,dumb and the blind you know that I will always set you up to fall

Please believe me
Theres only so long to go if you cant forgive me somehow
Is it not enough
I carry the weight of the world on me now?

So you will never understand how many things I hide behind
The blame is mine
Here I am,take me now,my arms are open wide
Take your time

Something lead to nothing
And that nothing changed everything at once

So maybe I dont have an answer for you now
And I am not the you need at all
Like the most unkind leading the deaf,dumb and the blind you know that I will always set you up to fall

Something lead to nothing.
Track Name: Mirror Match
One third of its rehearsed
One third of it im living
And one third just isnt me at all
And the times when im most honest,
Composing self-pitying sonnets is the part
Where I describe the fall
After all of the times youve scraped through still you'll
Try again something
Despite all if the chances youre given still youll
Risk your little everything

If I dont know what i mean
Then I dont know how to say
I just want to be perfect but my lifes still in your hands
So I'll take it again
And throw it away
I hear beautiful voices but life passes me by

You never won your wars
You never learned the cost
You have never been the type to fight for what you have lost
You havent earned that warmth
And you havent earned your joys
Every good thing youve been given has been turned to wasteful employ
After all of the times youve scraped through still you'll
Try again something
Despite all if the chances youre given still youll
Risk your little everything

If I dont know what i mean
Then I dont know how to say
I just want to be perfect but my lifes still in your hands
So I'll take it again
And throw it away
I hear beautiful voices but life passes me by


And you know the words
Scream them out again
Like you have so many times before
Cos you came off and you stayed off
And you know why,cos youre able
I never had you written off as a casualty
Is it enough to keep you safe?

If I dont know what i mean
Then I dont know how to say
I just want to be perfect but my lifes still in your hands
So I'll take it again
And throw it away
I hear beautiful voices but life passes me by
Track Name: Komorebi
Believe,believe,and find your true placement
Give,recieve,and take the harder way around
Give,recieve or be the replacement
And grieve,grieve for the loss of all that you have found
Track Name: Pinky Swears
Laughing it off whilest youre thinking
It comes bubbling up from underneath like your sinking
Under the weight of all that life has thrown at you
Cos i know right now it just feels like every little movement
Is two steps back but its still an improvement
I wonder how you manage to do the things you do
Cos fayer some consideration i see the situation
has got you slowly breaking and the toll its taking
Makes me wonder how you manage to resist
And i know
Theres a weight on all of us and even more on you but trust me
I love the way youvve carried yourself through this

And if your hearts not ready to take
All of the weight well will it break
And leave you standing here alone and abandoned by the side of the road?
And if your hearts not ready to take all of the things still in your way
I can join you,misery loves company,at least thats what Im told

You need the proper preparation for the situation
I know its not a word we like to use
But you must learn to kill this conversation dead
Cos it'll have you sinking lower,lower than my IQ
Its the same thing I do every time I let my tired heart get the better of my head
Cos I can see that this commotions got you walking broken,
Crippled by emotions,holding on to tokens of a thing that already promises not to fade
And I know
Theres a weight on all of us and even more on you but trust me
I love the way youve carried yourself today

And if your hearts not ready to take
All of the weight well will it break
And leave you standing here alone and abandoned by the side of the road?
And if your hearts not ready to take all of the things still in your way
I can join you,misery loves company,at least thats what Im told

So if repeating "how could you?" - well if thats all that youve got to say
Well then screaming "I love you" is just a device that gets in your way

And if your hearts not ready to take
All of the weight well will it break
And leave you standing here alone and abandoned by the side of the road?
And if your hearts not ready to take all of the things still in your way
I can join you,misery loves company,at least thats what Im told
Track Name: Bloodlines
Another promise broken,
I leaned hard upon your heavy shoulders for
Another useless token
But it seems your minds made up and conversation is over
But it seems to me,why cant you see,
The reasons that I have are so much better than the ones youve got?
And all this counts for nothing as I cou t you among the lost

I always said I'd never stand by your side again - that was a lie.

Headlights betray,tired eyes by your grave
Bloodlines retrace the memories that we've made

So we've both grown colder
But in my case its just a little bit more figurative
And I theow twice as much salt over my shoulder
And hope that I was wrong about everything I said to begin with
But what if it seems the worst of these days that we have had are so much better than the ones to come?
And the ones we conversate with outnumber the conversations as the ones now dead and gone

I always said I'd never stand by your side again - that was a lie
As these Headlights betray,tired eyes by your grave
Bloodlines retrace the memories that we've made

And Im well aware these graveside conversations are the thing that are destroying the truth right now,misleading
Me and everyone you leave behind you
I guess i was just wishing that there would be some way that i could still reach to you somehow
Incase you ever need a reminder that

I always said I'd never stand by your side again - that was a lie.
Track Name: 5th Season
Believe me now,this isnt how I pictured it
Something that I cant change,you cant understand
Is there time enough for us to figure this out,
Is it enough?

So leave me now,Im all Im ever going to be and they
Deserve better than that
Been spending my time driving blindfilded on the wrong side
Look at the mess I've made just getting to where Im at
Is there time enough for us to figure this out
Isnt there enough in this sometimes to keep you perfect and alive?

Condenmed in the present for whats buried in the past
Is it already over?
Youve confirmed my worst of fears
Tell me how to save a life thats determined not to last
Who will hold my hand throughout these locust years?

Believe me now ths isnt how I pictured it
Something I cant understand and you cant change
Become a chemical mass - we no longer sleep,
We only pass out,after a series of flashbacks an memories
It is right for us to try to figure this out
Isnt there enough in this sometimes to keep you
Perfect and alive?

Condenmed in the present for whats buried in the past
Is it already over?
Youve confirmed my worst of fears
Tell me how to save a life thats determined not to last
Who will hold my hand throughout these locust years?

I only hope,like they say,
When the years eaten by decay
Are returned fully repaid,
its not too late.

Is it wise for us to try to figure this out?
I wish there was enough in this sometimes
To keep you perfect and alive.

Tell me how to save a life thats determined to die
Who will hold my hand throught these Locust Years?